“We used to believe that we had to wait for X feeling to show up. However, we now know about up-regulating emotions where we try to create or provoke the emotion from the outside in. So you turn on music that cheers you up, or you call a friend that can cheer you up.”
Have you ever been cut off in traffic and felt that you now had a personal vendetta against the person in the other vehicle? Have you ever gotten in an disagreement with a family member and proceeded to think about how angry they make you for the rest of the day? Have you ever had a bad day and taken it out on someone that had nothing to do with it? It sounds like you could use some practice in emotional regulation. Today’s guest, Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona or "Dr. Z", explains how most of us could use a little work at regulating our emotional state. She’ll give us tips and advice for recognizing our emotions as they enter a heightened state, and altering them to for our benefit.
“It’s not just a one time situation. It’s that while they were growing up they learned that they can get what they want by using anger as a way to handle other people’s responses.”
“What do I do in the moment when I feel like screaming and killing the person? Well, #1, don’t kill the person, it’s illegal. ”
Interview Contents
2:30 - The definition of emotional regulation.
4:30 - The difficulty of thinking and acting clearly when you’re in a heightened emotional state.
7:30 - Why we have problems regulating our emotions.
10:30 - Holding in your emotions too much.
13:30 - Needing to up-regulate emotions.
17:20 - Down-regulating emotions.
18:30 - Meditation and other methods to help you get more mindful of your emotions.
20:50 - What to do when you are already in a heightened state.
24:30 - Ruminating on your anger and not letting it go.
27:30 - Could emotional regulation prevent serious psychological issues?
29:30 - The benefits of emotional regulation.
31:30 - Tips to help people get started.
Links
THIS EPISODE WAS MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF
Marcus Batson
Roxanna
Michelle & Jim Wortner
Janelle Swanson
Jimmy Seymour
